


Scream Upon the Silver Screen

by SucculentStrawberries



Category: Persona 5, Persona Series
Genre: Awkward Dates, Embarrassment, F/F, Fear, Femslash, First Dates, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Humiliation, Hurt/Comfort, I mean the last few days but u can't play so i say that counts as post, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Light Angst, Lightly mentioned bc jerk fiance but u know, Movie Night, Omorashi, Past Abuse, Persona 5 Spoilers, Post-Canon, Post-Game(s), Post-Persona 5, Scary Movies, Situational Humiliation, Spoilers, Teen Crush, Teen Romance, Teenagers, Urination, Valentine's Day, Valentine's Day Fluff, Wetting, Yuri
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-18
Updated: 2020-04-18
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:07:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23714104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SucculentStrawberries/pseuds/SucculentStrawberries
Summary: In the aftermath of the final battle, things seem to have finally settled down in Japan, in Tokyo itself, and especially for the Phantom Thieves. These last few months have been peaceful, and the extra free time has given everyone a chance to finally decide for themselves what, or who, they wish to pursue. Their lives are moving forwards, and Makoto is slowly finding hers might be moving in tandem with a fellow Thief...Dating should be easier when you've already made your first impressions and gotten past the small talk, right? Unfortunately, a movie theatre date reminds her that some impressions may have been the wrong ones to give, and difficult to keep up...
Relationships: Niijima Makoto/Okumura Haru
Comments: 8
Kudos: 36





	Scream Upon the Silver Screen

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted this done for FemFeb and VDay but... that didn't happen RIP. It's actually based on a plot idea I had written down as an unposted headcanon drabble the year I played the game for the 1st time. So, I finally got this fic polished up and out for you all c': Better late than never!
> 
> One day I'll write a Makoto omo fic where she isn't miserable and anxious. But that day is not today. Sorry babe...
> 
> MASSIVE Spoiler Warning for portions of the True ending for Vanilla P5. Given that this is a late/post-game fic, there are quite a few mentions of plot points in passing!
> 
> It's been so long since I've written these two jfc I feel rusty. Part of why I took so long editing this to nitpick it haha, I hope you all enjoy.

One would think that after her life so far, her career as a Phantom Thief, and the even stranger incidents following Shido's defeat (including all of them almost dying, and watching her friend shoot God in the face), life wouldn't have any surprises left to faze her at this point. After all, what could be more shocking than having to save humanity? Than their leader turning himself in? Than Morgana…  _ disappearing _ …

Evidently, finding a note upon her council room desk.

Not just any note. One specifically decorated in the style of a Calling Card. The only differences were the colours, and the contents inside.

While there were still black accents, this card had replaced the signature red and white with dark purple and light pink. And rather than detailing all of her personal flaws, the writing (though decidedly still containing 'serial killer' magazine cutout letters) praised her with compliments. So many compliments that her face was as pink as the card by the end of it. Her heart, which had been hammering away with fear upon first seeing the strange object, was now racing with the opposite emotion. 

Excitement.

Also, a dizzying mix of flattery and confusion, which had prompted her to sit down before she risked fainting.

Haru Okumura had sent her one last Calling Card.

Confessing her feelings and asking her if, perhaps, it was mutual.

Well, according to Haru, it was less  _ confessing _ feelings and more blatantly shoving them in her face, because apparently in the past few months she had been oblivious to the point of infuriating the poor girl. Eiko had concurred, and promptly laughed in her face when she'd asked if it had truly been that obvious.

In her defense, Haru's personality left potential for a lot of mixed signals.

Like her constant habit of hugging people, or snuggling with them in the Monamobile or during group movie nights. Really, Haru had clung onto Ann or Futaba or Ryuji just as often, so it was fair enough to believe it was platonic.

She was always showering them in gifts, or telling them how pretty or handsome they were.

Haru was just  _ nice _ . Too adorably nice and overly friendly, to nearly everyone, so how on earth was she supposed to know the difference? She'd never  _ had _ friends before, certainly not friends like Haru. She'd barely been able to adjust to that.

She certainly hadn't had the hope to assume, or even  _ think about  _ anything more.

That wasn't to say she didn't enjoy Haru's company. Quite the opposite, in fact.

Haru was… comforting, all bright smiles and plush sweaters. She grew vegetables for the garden and enjoyed the concept of coffee shops. She was earnest and eager and supportive, anything she said could light up a room. Well, sometimes she said something off-colour and vaguely unsettling, but that was amusing in and of itself. If she ever had a bad day, she could count on Haru to cheer her up. To wrap her in an embrace that sent warmth fizzing through her, to tell her a joke that put a smile back onto her face. She could look into those soft brown eyes, and suddenly, everything felt like it would be alright.

Haru was feminine, and cheerful, and pleasantly social.

Sometimes Haru seemed like what she might've been,  _ could _ have been if… if her early life had worked out differently.

Of course, Haru was not without her own rough patches and inner demons, none of them were. And now she'd lost her father too…

They were in the same boat, and Haru had fought just as hard for freedom, of course, and yet… Haru still tended to look on the bright side. She really did admire that. It was Haru who had believed for the longest that Akechi could… be redeemed. After what that bastard had done… she couldn't quite understand it, nor feel the same way, but she could certainly respect Haru for it. That level of emotional strength, of kindness and hope, was difficult to come by. It was even more difficult to practice.

Haru was incredible, truly. So talented, easily moreso than she was, and yet so humble. 

She had never imagined someone like that could be interested in her. But Haru was,  _ clearly _ .

Apparently, when she'd asked her a couple of weeks ago if she had any Valentine's Day plans yet, Haru had  _ not _ been simply making friendly conversation or fishing for gossip.

Inviting her out to a fancy new cafe or restaurant that had opened up, having her driver pick her up, and insisting on paying for everything, and telling her she looked nice, had  _ not _ just been friendly outings for the sake of exploring the city and having 'girl talk'. Really, why she'd never thought to ask why Ann or Futaba weren't invited was beyond her.

God, Eiko was right. She was an absolute idiot when it came to these things. An utter disgrace. 

No wonder Haru had cut and stamped it out in large, bold print letters.

**WILL YOU BE MY VALENTINE?**

**I PROMISE A DATE BEFITTING OF A QUEEN!**

**_LOVE_ ** **, BEAUTY THIEF**

_ (How could I not steal the heart of a girl befitting true beauty?) _

She had, of course, given her answer with grace and dignity.

Alright, so she'd turned as red as Arsene and blundered her way through incoherent rambling as soon as she met her on the rooftop, but Haru had seemed to get the message. She'd felt like she was walking on air as they came back downstairs, chattering away and forming a plan. 

It was strange, to finally have the time and carefree lifestyle to do these things. The year had been so hectic, there hadn't been a chance to really worry about crushes and dating (beyond the incidents with Eiko, anyhow). Romance was a topic she'd completely brushed aside, and Haru hadn't known it beyond the twisted version of that asshole of a 'fiance'. And suddenly, they both had all the time in the world. The freedom to explore all the opportunities and experiences they'd been walled off from.

It was terrifying. It was exhilarating.

She'd had no idea how badly she'd craved it until Haru had been walking alongside her, holding her hand.

It was bittersweet.

One person didn't get to taste the change in the air, pursue their own happiness. The person most deserving of it… It was cruel.

It was  _ false _ , as she had found out soon enough.

Evidently life had one more surprise for them all.

Of course, their date had to be pushed back to February twenty-first instead, but that was fine with both of them. There was already too much excitement surrounding Valentine's Day, after all.

On the thirteenth of February, Morgana had miraculously returned- in his cat form, but  _ alive,  _ and that was what had mattered! And as if that wasn't good news enough, their beloved Joker had been set free! 

Their leader, their comrade, their best friend… If  _ anyone _ was deserving of being called a 'loved one', it was him.

They and the rest of the Phantom Thieves had sure kept him busy that weekend, showering him in gifts and clamouring for his attention. But could they be blamed? After all of the times they'd almost lost him, after all they'd been through together, how could any of them possibly let him go again?

In fact, the only reason they'd all finally left him alone on the evening of the fourteenth was when he'd sheepishly admitted he had plans with a girl. Someone from Kosei, and a shogi player, apparently.

Come to think of it, maybe she should have asked him for dating advice…

Like what to do when your date has picked the worst activity on earth and you don't think you'll survive the day.

How not to look like you're about to pass out.

How to keep your hands from shaking when she's trying to hold them.

It could have been funny if she had a better sense of humour. She'd actually been feeling confident when she'd woken up today. Like she could take on the world and save it a second time. 

Yesterday's movie had gone perfectly. Their initial awkwardness had dissipated easily enough, and aside from a shy kiss in the dark, it had really felt more like their previous friendship. Already warm and familiar. Which made sense, given how comfortable they'd gotten together already over the past year's events.

So today, now that she knew what to expect and wasn't as nervous, should have been even better! And it  _ was _ , at first. She'd had, as Ryuji might've put it, a 'swagger' in her step. A debonair smoothness that would have made their leader proud. Haru might have picked her up in the limo, but she felt as if she was calling the shots, and she'd been  _ graceful _ as she swooped Haru out of the car and guided her into the movie theatre.

**'Don't get cocky.'**

How many times had she repeated that same warning to her teammates?

Because now here she was, rooted to the middle of this bustling room full of people and noise and popcorn aroma, as she stared up at the poster for the movie Haru had chosen to see. Her once warm heart had turned to ice, the lump plummeting into her stomach. The glowing flush upon her skin had vanished, goosebumps prickling across the growing pallor. She hadn't even eaten, and yet she was fighting the urge to retch.

She'd thought Haru would be the type to choose some cheesy romance, or perhaps a comedy. She shouldn't have forgotten that the fluffy-haired girl who adored all things pink or flower-themed was the same girl who had gone on about how much she enjoyed beheading Shadows.

There were a great many genres of entertainment she was willing to try, or at least tolerate.

Horror was not one of them.

A movie whose title had been whispered in hushed tones throughout the school hallways, accompanied by complaints of how those students hadn't slept for days afterwards, or had gotten sick and tapped out halfway through the film, was not one of them.

Even Eiko, who was always eager to follow the hottest new trend and would view almost  _ anything _ for the shock value, had refused to partake, texting 'HELL NO, i wouldnt go if u p8d me lol. F that noiz' followed by a laughing emoji.

God, for once, she wished she could follow Eiko's lead...

But she couldn't back out of this now. She was in too deep.

Not only because it would be terribly unfair if she refused to see Haru's choice after she'd forced her to sit through a Yakuza movie yesterday. 

But because she had a reputation to uphold for Haru.

From first joining the team and onwards, Haru had only known her as Strategist Makoto, or Battle-Hardened Queen. She had seen her gut shadows or fight Yaldaboth, organize missions or help the students of Shujin with their problems.

She'd never seen her first struggling in Kaneshiro's Palace. She'd never heard the tale of how she'd crumpled to the ground in Sojiro and Futaba's house, screaming bloody murder and clinging to Joker's leg. She'd never heard her mention her fear of the dark to the team, or her initial discomfort in Mementos.

The only reason she could keep calm in Mementos at all had been because they were safe inside the Monabus, and illuminated by his headlights (eyelights?).

Everyone else knew her weaknesses. They knew what a scaredy-cat she was deep down, what a nerdy dork and goody two-shoes she had been.

But Haru saw her as an inspiration, a beacon of strength and wisdom. Haru saw her as a mature fellow junior. And she couldn't lie, the constant compliments and awe-inspired look upon Haru's face during those moments was a nice boost to her personal pride. Despite her resolve to change and everything she'd accomplished since she'd removed that mask, sometimes she still had her doubts. That she wasn't actually that much stronger, that much braver. 

She wanted to keep that newfound bravery.

She was not going to wimp out of this.

She was  _ not _ going to scream and cry like a child in front of Haru.

She… she hadn't tried watching a horror movie in several years, not since she'd hidden behind the sofa to watch what teenage Sis was watching. Perhaps she'd grown enough that it wouldn't actually be that scary. Her peers loved to exaggerate things, after all. Rumors flew around the Shujin schoolyard as easily as pollen during allergy season!

"I've got the popcorn!~" 

Haru's singsong call broke her out of her thoughts, and she turned to face her approaching date, trying her best not to look startled. "Ah, perfect! Here, um, let me carry that for you!" It wasn't much, just a couple of soft drinks in a cardboard carrier and the one large popcorn, but it was the least she could do. Haru had insisted on paying again (despite their agreement yesterday that they would split the dates), and more importantly, having a task to accomplish would give her something to focus on as they walked.

Haru couldn't see her face if it was hidden behind the popcorn. She couldn't crush the poor girl's fingers in a deathgrip if she was already gripping the drinks.

As they marched towards impending doom, Haru kept talking. 

"Did you know they almost didn't release this film at all?"

"Oh?" she squeaked out, half-focused on some last minute mental prayers. Although, she wasn't certain  _ who _ would actually be listening now.

"Mmhmm~" Haru hummed, pausing momentarily to snatch and relish a piece of popcorn. "They thought it would be too violent and had too much dark subject matter to get past the filters. And this isn't even the 'Uncut' version! Isn't that funny?"

Haru's laughter, bubbly though it may have been, did not ease her nerves. She prayed her own giggle didn't sound as off-pitch as she feared it did. "Oh my! I suppose that is rather amusing! How ironic!"

Of course she smiled and nodded and listened to every detail of trivia Haru'd been rattling off to her as they went to take their seats and let the previews fade into the background. She had to, because if she opened her mouth very much she was bound to blurt out an excuse to leave, or beg her to pick a different movie.

Instead, she bit her tongue and focused on how wonderful Haru looked when she was happy. Seeing the way her eyes practically sparkled with unbridled excitement, the way her voice pitched even higher and the way her curls bounced, haloed by the golden theatre lights… these were sights she was still finding a new appreciation for, now that she knew  _ why _ they made her feel the way that they did.

It brought a smile to her own lips, an involuntary sigh escaping them as she leaned back in her seat, tension melting from her shoulders.

Of course, but a few minutes later and all of those sights and sounds were suddenly torn away from her. Darkness swallowed the theatre in an instant, and the crowd grew so silent that she briefly wondered if they had been stolen too. A thick hush choked the room, everyone and everything remaining still and barely breathing. The knuckles that weren't being fondly caressed by Haru's warm hand tightened around the armrest. Her heart thumped, slow and steady for now, but picking up the pace with every moment the silence dragged on.

The title card flickered to life with all of the speed of molasses, soft music beginning to drone throughout the room. She wondered if an obnoxiously loud jump scare would have been preferable to such an ominous sight.

The opening began to play, and she brushed aside the dreaded thought.

She could do this. She had faced down and endured far worse things than this. She was going to sit here, firm and unflinching, throughout the entirety of one hundred and ten minutes.

~~~

Well, according to her dimly-lit watch, she'd made it through about thirty before she was trembling in her chair, her free hand clasped over her lips to muffle any gasps or undignified squeals at the slightest sudden noise or movement on-screen. That meant she couldn't eat the popcorn, but that was fine. She didn't think she could handle anything with the way her stomach was churning with the gory sounds and sickening concepts assaulting her. Haru didn't seem to be nauseated in the slightest, wolfing it down in an almost trance-like state, her attention fully focused on the film.

~~~

By the sixty-five minute mark, she'd found herself leaning to the very left of her seat, pressed against Haru's shoulder and letting her nails dig into pink sweater sleeves (and possibly leaving marks in flesh, since she really couldn't seem to loosen her deathgrip). The glowing red 'EXIT' sign in the corner of the room beckoned to her, taunted her. So did the darkened hallway down the steps and wrapping behind them. 

"Haru-" she whispered into the girl's ear, finally prying her hands free to reach for the empty popcorn bucket. "Allow me to refill this for you! I'll be right back!" The line should buy her at least ten minutes to breathe and remind herself that light and calm existed. Perhaps fifteen or even twenty, if she just so happened to end up in a long line, or got lost on the way back to their particular room…

Just as she'd started to stand up, she found herself tugged back down, almost falling with the force of it. Haru had pulled her back with her impressive upper body strength, only looking away from the action for long enough to give her that innocent, puppy-like stare. 

"Oh, please no! I can't allow you to do that!"

"Why not? I'm just getting-"

"I can't let you be deprived of this experience! I believe we're approaching the climax!" Haru whispered, and if she weren't so full of fear for her life, her ears might have burned. "Please Makoto, sit here and enjoy yourself! Allow me to get it!"

_ Damn it, Haru! Why do you always have to put everyone else before yourself? _

It would have been sweet if it didn't choke the breath from her lungs, panic rising faster than she could hope to contain it.

The only greater torture than sitting through this ghostly horror with Haru would be sitting through it  _ alone _ , and so it had been her turn to desperately yank the other girl back, hissing that she didn't deserve to miss it either and they'd simply get something else afterwards. Haru had agreed to that with a bright smile, and they'd sat back down.

At least the five minutes they'd spent arguing had been five she hadn't been paying attention…

~~~ 

Had she been in a better frame of mind, she probably could have come up with some other excuse to leave for a short while. But she didn't think she could speak any more. Her throat had gone dry, to the point that when she flinched or gasped she couldn't make a sound. Every time she tried to swallow, it felt like she couldn't breathe past the lump lodged in it. She'd tried sipping on her drink consistently, both as a distraction and to attempt to loosen it, but it wasn't working. 

At some point she must have ended up crawling out of her seat to sit in Haru's lap, or maybe Haru had pulled her there? She'd been unable to concentrate fully on anything except for the nauseating massacre onscreen, despite also wishing her attention could be pulled anywhere else. She was only slightly aware of the gentle hand caressing the hair near her right ear, just as she was only vaguely aware of how clammy her own skin felt. Her palms were drenched in sweat, but her entire body felt cold. That…  _ that _ must have been the cause of her trembling. 

The tension was almost unbearable. She couldn't breathe. No one could, the entire room was silent again, every audience member sitting with bated breath.

The music was everywhere, ramping up to higher pitches and eerier noises until she couldn't think of anything else except for how badly she wished it would stop. It was inescapable, only interrupted by the increasing pounding of the drums.

Those weren't drums. That was her heartbeat blaring in her ears, hammering so hard in her chest that it was painful, dizzying.  _ God _ when could they get out of here? 

They were ninety minutes in when she'd shattered her powerful image forever, and also committed the most unromantic act in dating history (probably. She had no real knowledge of dating history in the first place).

Something absolutely  _ dreadful _ had lunged onscreen then. An indescribable monster, even by  _ her _ standards, and she'd been near deafened by the screams of the theatre, her own voice absolutely the highest and loudest of the shrieks as she flinched backwards against a giggling Haru. She shouldn't have been able to scream, and it had stopped as quickly as it had started, as if her lungs had been torn open for one final, death-defying cry. All she could do afterwards was silently heave for breath through the lump in her throat and her nose full of snot, turning around to bury her face against Haru's chest. She squeezed her eyes shut as tightly as they would go, but it couldn't remove the image burned into her mind, nor could it block out the wet, grueling noises behind her.

And as the awful screech coming from the speakers quieted, and her heart stopped pounding quite so intensely, she became horribly aware of another sensation besides the tears gently creeping down her cheeks. Her pants were warm, ever so slowly growing warmer, and even though the audio didn't sound like bodily fluids were still being flung around, she could hear something pattering. Trickling and splashing, slowly and intermittently, onto the black tile of the theatre floor. It took a while for all of that to register, and even once it did, she found herself frozen and unable to do anything to stop it. Her entire body was still numb with terror and tears and wanting to be ill, and the only sound she could force from her trembling bottom lip was a whimper.

And oh goodness, she was still sitting in Haru's lap, which meant that Haru was probably-

She knew this wasn't something that would destroy their friendship (after everything they'd been through, that would be ridiculous), but it  _ was _ probably something that was  _ just _ gross and awkward enough to blow any chances of an actual relationship out of the water. Like how if a friend vomited on you, you would be sympathetic, but if a potential crush did the same, you would lose all attraction.

And now her heart was pounding even faster all over again, and she was absolutely mortified. The rush of heat and adrenaline through every inch of her flesh seemed to be enough to thaw her out, and she ducked her head and squeaked out "I'm sorry, I'm  _ so s-so _ sorry!" She tried to scramble off of Haru to get back into her own seat, but her limbs weren't cooperating. She was shaking so badly she could barely stand, and before she could attempt to crawl off and just flop into the other chair, Haru had wrapped her arms gently around her midsection, tugging her back.

"Please, Mako-chan, don't move." the girl whispered.

"B-But I just- I have to-" Haru ignored her ragged explanations, tightening her hug slightly.

"Breathe with me for a few minutes." her date instructed, and despite her reluctance, she found herself complying. "We can deal with the rest in a little while, alright?"

As Haru began rubbing the small of her back, she tried her best to shut out the agonized screams coming from the speakers, focusing on the warm hand and the voice murmuring in her ear. Her breath was trying to even out, but she was still tightening her grip with every sudden noise, still trembling all over. She was pathetic, a shivering, snivelling mess, and she couldn't even try to pretend otherwise anymore.

"I want to go home…" she choked out, not that it would do any good now. Had she found the courage to confess that in the beginning, all of this could've been avoided. But the sentiment rang just as true now, and it was all she could really think of.

_ I want to go home. I don't want to look at her and I don't want to be here and I want to pretend this never happened... _

"I promise we'll leave soon." Haru assured her, brushing wet bangs away from the corner of her eyes with soft knuckles. "There are only twenty minutes left according to your watch. That will be enough time for us to calm down and figure out what to do. We'll wait for everyone else to leave before we move, alright?"

Twenty minutes seemed like an agonizing amount of time, but Haru was right. As much as every nerve in her body was screaming otherwise, it was far smarter to stay hidden here in the dark than bolt out into the lit public lobby. It was better to wait for their clothes to have _a_ _chance_ of dripping dry than heading out like sodden mops.

And so she stayed huddled against Haru, and didn't dare open her eyes until a whisper informed her the lights had come on…

They pretended to fiddle around with their bags or concession cups and feigned muttered conversation about the movie, watching and waiting while the people in their immediate vicinity exited the room. Once there was enough space clear for them to avoid being overheard, Haru's brows furrowed in determination. She was familiar with that look, the sharp-eyed stare and slight smirk on pink lips. Even without the shadow of a feathered cap's brim, or a glimmering cravat around her puffed-up chest, Haru gave off the same heroic aura.

They finally separated and sat in their own seats, but Haru still reached out to grasp her shoulders. "Do not worry, the Beauty Thief is going to escort you out safely! Are you prepared for one last mission, Queen?"

The use of her codename almost felt downright  _ mocking _ , given that she felt more like the grungiest peasant, but Haru was clearly trying to encourage her, so she forced herself to look her in the eyes. "What's the plan?"

"Well, I've become quite adept at analyzing building interiors, so I've already formed a mental map of our route to the Safe Room! All you have to do is follow me, alright? Duck and dodge the Shadows until we reach our destination! You can do that! I know you can!"

She really didn't think she could, but she didn't have a choice, she realized, her breath catching in her throat as she spotted an usher sweeping up the aisle down below. It was only a matter of time until he made his way up towards them, and she couldn't deal with that confrontation. 

_ Just pretend they're Shadows. Lie low, roll and seek cover. _

As 'Noir' led the way, she rushed after her, and they began slinking through the maze of seats, avoiding any traps of sticky candy on the floor or popcorn kernels to crunch and give up their location. They managed to time it so they could bolt down and around the corner as soon as the usher had turned around, and as they pressed themselves against the theatre wall, she took a deep breath. That was one enemy avoided, and an entire swarm to go…

She only realized how tightly her fists were clenched when Haru slid a hand over one, rubbing her knuckles soothingly. "It's just a bit further. Less than a full floor, isn't that easy?" the girl giggled. She supposed, compared to Mementos, it was…

~~~

Just because it was technically less distance didn't mean she wasn't terrified though. By the time they reached the doorway to the single family restroom and slipped inside, her heart was beating out of her chest with adrenaline. They had managed to escape the eyes of any employees or moviegoers, just barely, but only by working their stealth skills harder than they ever had before, moving so quickly through the area that they'd barely paused to breathe. In fact, perhaps she  _ hadn't _ breathed, so busy was she gritting her teeth to avoid making a sound.

"Welcome to the Safe Room!" Haru called, clicking the lock and glancing back at her. "See, you made it!"

She did not feel safe, and she certainly didn't feel like she'd accomplished anything. She'd only traded being stared at by strangers for being seen at her worst by one of her closest friends, by her  _ date _ , and perhaps that was a more tragic fate. 

What the hell were they even going to  _ do _ in here? Try to wash off? Dry? Hide forever? None of that was going to work, it was only delaying the inevitable, and then they'd have to go back out in public-

And  _ oh God _ the  _ public _ …

For her, she was forced to admit that while humiliating, it wouldn't matter in the grand scheme of things. But for  _ Haru Okumura _ , CEO of Okumura Foods, spokesperson of the Big Bang Burger and Daughter of the Deceased, a pretty young bachelorette still strongly caught in the public eye…

Someone would be bound to take a picture of her, or both of them together, and God knows what the headlines or hashtags would even be but it would  _ not _ be flattering, she knew that much, and  _ yet again _ she was dragging someone down with her for her failures and-

"Mako-chan?"

She didn't care that it was a restroom floor, she was sitting down before her legs could turn into jelly again. She was already a mess anyways, so what did it matter? 

" _ Makoto _ ? Oh,  _ please… _ don't cry..."

If she could follow Haru's plea, she would have. The last thing she'd wanted was to start crying again, but she couldn't stop. She was miserable and mortified and Haru wasn't going to hate her but she'd never look at her the same way again, and she had no idea how to get them both out of this and-

"It's alright…" Haru's hushed voice still managed to command the room, clear even over her own sniffling. She wanted to interrupt it, to apologize properly, grovel for ruining the afternoon, or point out all of the problems bound to occur, but Haru kept talking, and slowly, she noticed the girl's voice was less full of worry. Gentle though the tone was, there was an underlying note of resolve to it. "Everything will be alright... It's going to be just fine, so please trust me!" 

"Here is what we are going to do-" Haru was pacing now, occasionally glancing back down at her with an authoritative, and yet somehow reassuring gaze. It dimly reminded her of when Joker would go over tactics during impromptu meetings, times when they were hidden behind walls or observing attack dogs behind a row of columns. Even when they'd had curveballs thrown their way and he wasn't sure how to proceed, he  _ acted _ like he did, pulling a new plan together as he spoke and making sure to stand firm under pressure.

"I am going to call and instruct my driver to stop at the Underground Mall before he arrives here. It will be much swifter for him to get outfits there than drive back to the mansion, and we cannot occupy this room for long before we run the risk of being discovered. Once he obtains our disguises he will drop them off here for us to change into, and inform the theater staff of what happened- without mentioning our names, of course- as well as foot the bill for cleaning. Then, when we are ready, he will escort us out and return you to your apartment."

There were many things she wanted to say. Several what-ifs, protests, but Haru's smile gave her pause. The girl had dropped the commanding attitude as soon as she'd adopted it, and all she could find in that face was the warm, comforting kindness Haru was so known for...

"No one will witness any evidence of what has occurred today. It will be as if it never happened.  _ I promise _ ." 

A promise was likely the most important thing to Haru, given the one they'd unfortunately broken… Those were not words said lightly.

Typically,  _ she _ was the one going through the logistics of a situation and finding solutions.  _ She _ was the one calming distraught people down and talking them out of spirals. It was bizarre, sitting here on the other side, watching Haru take charge and being unable to do much more than nod. It almost felt like she was sitting outside of herself, observing this entire thing from a distance.

Except that she  _ was _ part of this mess no matter how badly she wished she wasn't. She was sitting here falling apart and making Haru pick up the pieces, and she'd never been more disgusted with herself in her life.

_ You promised you wouldn't do this to people anymore... You're supposed to be stronger than this! Smarter than this! _

_ How many times _ did she have to learn not to push herself so far and bite off more than she could chew before it would  _ finally _ sink in?!?

"I'm sorry for putting you through all of this…" she managed to murmur before reaching for the spare roll of toilet paper to blow her nose. She was interrupted by the shocked look on Haru's face.

"Mako-chan, why are you saying such things? If anyone is owed an apology, I should be bowing my head to you!"

"What?!?" It was enough of a surprise to bring her out of the miserable fog, to fill her with at least a spark of energy. " _ Why? _ You didn't do anything!"

"Precisely! You were in distress earlier, and I did nothing! I thought after all of our adventures together, I would be more than capable of protecting you, and that I knew everything necessary to keep us in sync! But… clearly I do not, and am not the partner I wished to be." Haru sighed, sitting down on the floor in front of her. "I mistook your genuine terror for the false, enjoyable fear many feel at such films… but that is no excuse! I failed to observe the situation properly, and I failed to ask  _ even once _ if you were enjoying yourself. From the bottom of my heart, I am truly sorry…"

What… what  _ was _ this?

Once the confusion had subsided, she was only left with indignance. The more she stared into those forlorn, horribly guilty eyes on Haru's face, the more frustrated she was.

It was ridiculous! Haru couldn't blame herself for this! She wouldn't let her take the blame for such a foolish event!

"Don't say that! You couldn't possibly have noticed! The  _ whole point _ was that you didn't notice, I would have rather-" Considering they had both nearly experienced death, perhaps that wasn't an appropriate statement to make… Shaking her head and groaning, she let one tense hand find her temple. "Haru, you can't hold yourself responsible for my failures, or for not knowing information I deliberately withheld. I was the one idiotic enough to try and sit through the kind of movie I'm absolutely terrified of! This whole mess- figuratively  _ and _ literally- had  _ nothing _ to do with you. Alright? Please, I understand you're trying to comfort me, but I won't stand for you dragging yourself through the mud in the process."

"Alright…" Haru spoke softly, nearly a whisper, and it wasn't very convincing. The regret on her face was clear as day, her gaze was still clouded, and she kept fidgeting with the hem of her clothing or brushing through the bushel of hair with her fingers. Reluctant acquiescence. After a few moments of silence, Haru took a breath and parted her lips, hesitating as they made eye contact. "If… If you will not allow me to apologize for my actions… may I at least take issue with one of yours?"

"What?" 

"It is not my intention to upset you further in such a state, but… I truly think that what I have to say is of the utmost importance."

It wasn't often Haru took on conflict outside of fighting Shadows. And come to think of it, she couldn't recall her ever really bringing up her displeasures with members of their group. That fact alone was enough to make her nervous, but she tried not to let her anxieties take over. As much as she loathed whatever conversation was about to take place, she had to grant Haru the right to speak her mind. 

"It's alright… Go ahead." she murmured, trying to steel herself as she gave Haru her full attention.

"Thank you." Haru dipped her head briefly, then scooted closer and straightened her posture, so they could converse face-to-face. "What you said… That you 'deliberately withheld' your discomfort and fear from me. That bothers me,  _ very much _ . Not simply because it makes my heart ache for you, or because it hurts my feelings, but because it makes me angry." Haru's lips tightened, whether out of reluctance for admitting that, or simply the aforementioned anger. 

She found her own throat going dry again, swallowing against the grit of guilt. 

"Do you understand why?" That must have been a rhetorical question, because Haru didn't give her a chance to answer, sighing sharply. "You remember my f-  _ ex- _ fiance… When I finally cut ties with him, I made a promise to myself that I would  _ never _ end up in a situation like that again. I wouldn't let myself fall into complacency and suffer just to avoid inconveniencing someone. Because if someone truly cares about you, they assist you when you're in trouble or scared. They don't berate you or consider it an inconvenience at all. You and the others taught me that…"

Haru placed her hands over hers, stroking them. Despite the gentle gesture, those brown eyes were unusually firm, uncompromising in their sternness. "Makoto,  _ please  _ understand. I don't  _ ever  _ want you to feel as if you can't tell me something. If you're uncomfortable in any way at all, I want you to tell me immediately. No matter where we are or what you'd be interrupting, it doesn't matter to me. Even if I may be disappointed,  _ I promise you _ I'll understand. I'll never be angry with you for admitting you aren't up to something. However, I  _ will _ be angry at you if you put yourself in danger or pain of either kind, solely for my sake! I care about you very much, and I simply cannot stomach the idea that you might be as miserable in our relationship as I was back then! I don't ever want that to be us!"

Haru's hands were starting to clench too tightly, shaking with the force. She tried her best not to wince. "Haru, I understand your concerns, but that won't happen! I could never feel that way with you-"

"You used to suffer for your sister's sake, and for our schoolmates." Haru pointed out, her serious stare unwavering. "We both nearly gave our lives for our country, for the  _ world _ . I still have to fight my old instincts, to bow my head or not raise my voice, and I am certain you have your own habits left to break. We both have the nature of putting others first, even to the point of our own detriment. So we have to be exceedingly vigilant to make sure those patterns don't follow us, do you understand? Do not try to wave off my worries, because deep down, you know I speak the truth!  _ Promise me _ that you won't suffer for me, and I shall do the same to you. But my heart cannot rest comfortably if you don't…"

It was… difficult to promise that. She didn't want to lie to Haru, and bottling up weaknesses, giving everything until you were worn down… that was in her blood. Dad, Sis, and now her… How could she say she could brush something  _ that ingrained _ aside?

But… Haru's wisdom and insight were sound, as they typically were (previously controlling psychic Personas was a pretty good indicator). What good had that silent suffering done for any of them? If they didn't try to tackle everything alone… 

She had to break the pattern, snap those chains just like she'd snapped Johanna's. 

" _ I promise _ ." she stated, as firmly as she could. That seemed to please Haru, and she finally relinquished her grip, stepping away to pull out her phone.

~~~

To be truthful, there had been a handful of times she had resented Haru for being able to drop cash on the slightest whim or exorbitant idea. Not because she didn't feel the girl deserved it, of course, but it was just… human nature, to be a tad petty and jealous. Especially when your sister's constant stressing and grumbling over finances had hung over your head since you were thirteen.

However, in this moment, she was  _ exceedingly glad _ her date was rich enough to request two full wardrobe changes, put in a request for dry cleaning afterwards, and possibly pay for the years of therapy she would need to recover from the psychological trauma of this goddamn film. 

As they waited for their rescuer's arrival, Haru settled down on the floor again to sit beside her. The silence wasn't an uncomfortable one, but she still felt compelled to break it after a minute or two.

"I know it's ridiculous."

"Hmm?" 

"I've been covered in blood, viscera, clumps of irradiated hair and flesh… I've seen a man turn into a fly, I've impaled just about every type of creature under the sun with my own fists, and I've seen…  _ unspeakable _ horrors riding on a chariot…" Just the vision of that last one was enough to churn her stomach with repulsion all over again. "I've faced all of those things without flinching, and yet when it comes to things like that film- things that aren't even  _ real,  _ I…" She wasn't sure if she wanted to hit something, or just start crying again. 

She'd hoped admitting her fears would be cathartic, but all it did was make her feel pathetic. She pushed on though, even if she couldn't bring herself to look up from the floor. "I didn't protest seeing the movie with you because I was hoping I'd grown enough that I wouldn't get so freaked out anymore. After  _ all _ we've seen and been through, I thought I could handle anything, but… apparently not." she managed a weak chuckle, gesturing at their outfits. 

"Well, in your defense, it was a rather gruesome movie…"

"It's not simply the movies though." she sighed. "The dark, ghosts, you name it… It's childish, but it all completely unnerves me. I don't know why. I was hoping you wouldn't have to find out, since I've already made a fool of myself in front of just about everyone else, but… now you know, I suppose."

"I don't think it's childish."

"You don't have to spare my feelings, Haru."

"No, really!" Haru turned to face her. "I don't believe it's childish at all. In fact, I believe what is  _ truly _ childish is when people act as if they aren't afraid of anything. That seems like the most cowardly thing to me. They say true bravery is fighting even when facing your fears, correct? So the most childish act is not having the maturity to admit that, and lying to appear invincible, only to run when that moment comes." 

"That sounds like some of the enemies we've faced…"

"Yes. Exactly like that." Haru nodded, smiling gently. "In fact, if I may confess something… I was actually rather relieved when I found out you had fears after all."

"You were?"

"Absolutely! I know nobody is perfect, and everyone is afraid of something, but you truly seemed as if you didn't! In fact, when I first joined, it made me quite nervous. You were so put-together and such an excellent fighter, and even with Mona-senpai's encouragement, I felt rather outclassed. I was anxious about so many things, and I still am, sometimes… It's quite comforting to know you are just as human as the rest of us!~" Haru giggled.

She'd heard that last comment often in the past year or so, but she was finding it didn't sting as much this time. In fact, she even managed a smile of her own. 

"Well, I'm glad I could comfort you..." 

"Oh, speaking of comfort-" Haru interrupted as a thought struck her. "I believe I may have a theory for why your phobias distress you so!"

That… wasn't really a comforting topic, but she supposed knowledge was the first step towards fixing it. So in a roundabout way, a solution would be comforting.

"And what might that be?"

"Perhaps these things are scarier because you feel like you're facing them alone… I mean, when we faced all of those other things, we had Mona-senpai to help us, or our Personas and weapons. But in the real world, we cannot use any of those things. We're merely humans on this large planet full of unknowns… and that comes with a rather vulnerable feeling, don't you think?"

"Are we honestly going to debate the meaning of human existence right now? On the floor of a movie theatre restroom?" 

"Would you like to?"

"Not particularly." she sighed, although she couldn't help a hint of a smile at Haru's earnest inquiry. "What you said… it makes a surprising amount of sense though."

"On the bright side, if it helps… you can remember you aren't ever truly alone though! Because whatever you're facing, I'll be there to protect you, Mako-chan! If not with an axe, then with a garden hoe, or a spade, or a broomstick, or-" 

"Hey, I can protect myself too, you know! I'm trained in aikido!"

"Ooh, really?" Haru's eyes went wide, head cocking curiously. That was right, she'd only mentioned that when she first joined the team, long before they'd encountered Haru. "I've never tried that. Is it easy to learn?"

"Well, I wouldn't say  _ easy _ , but there are different levels and courses, so with time and training you can work your way up. It took me a few years to get to my current level of mastery, but I'm certain you could find a dojo and-"

"So it's decided! You'll be my Master then!"

"What? Wait, no! I wasn't suggesting I was qualified enough to-"

"Next Sunday afternoon, we can train in my home! I'm looking forward to the date!~"

"Haru, I'm serious! I still have levels to achieve before I'm qualified to-" It was at that moment that she finally registered the smug little grin on the girl's face, and her train of thought screeched to a halt before slowly chugging in reverse. "I'm sorry, did you just say 'date?'"

"Yes.~"

"But… you weren't simply referring to the appointment…. You meant an  _ actual _ date. Like the one we were supposed to be on today."

"As far as I'm concerned, we are still on it, but yes." Haru giggled, winking at her. "That is correct!~"

She supposed, given how understanding Haru had been about all of this and what they had discussed earlier about their future not being like Haru's ex-fiance, she really shouldn't have been surprised that she wanted to go on a date again, and so soon at that. But she  _ was _ , and for the hundredth time today her face flushed and she struggled to make use of the expansive vocabulary she'd spent so many years studying, only managing to choke out an 'I'd like that' before deciding her own smile was better directed at the floor.

~~~

It was a relatively quiet ride back. Even with the panel separating them from the driver closed, the fact that  _ he knew _ what had happened remained, and she couldn't manage to speak comfortably with that hanging over her head. Besides, given all of the topics they had discussed while waiting for their dry-cleaning, and how emotionally draining the entire day's events had been, they were both rather tired. She'd settled for sinking down into the plush leather cushions and staring blankly out of the tinted windows, with a drowsy Haru resting her head on her shoulders.

They were only dragged back into awareness when the vehicle stopped outside of her apartment building. Knowing such an extravagant ride would attract attention from her neighbors, she was swift to thank them both and depart, carrying the nondescript bag with her old clothes and making her way towards the complex. However, before she was even halfway across the concrete, she heard a door opening and shutting behind her. Soon enough, Haru was at her side.

"Please, allow me to-

"Ah, I appreciate it, but you didn't have to get out! I can get the door myself-"

"You didn't let me  _ finish _ , Mako-chan." Now the girl was reaching to gently grip her shoulder, pausing her in her tracks before she could reach for the handle. "A proper individual  _ always _ kisses their lady goodbye at the door~" Haru did seem every bit nobility in the moment, with perfect posture and a gallant expression, as well as a guiding hand on her back while they stood under the awning. "Um, so long as the lady is alright with it, of course?"

"The lady would be flattered.~" For once, she managed to breathe out the words without stumbling, and she leaned in just as smoothly when Haru closed the gap.

Honey and lemon. It was understated compared to the popular lip balm flavours most girls seemed to wear, like strawberry or cherry or whichever soda they preferred, but she thought it suited Haru perfectly. Elegant and quiet, soothing, but with an unexpected punch… She only got to taste it for those few seconds their lips were pressed together, but she wanted to melt into it forever. She wanted to stay there, indulging in the warmth and Haru's soft humming and that bushel of fluff framing her face, to stay in this embrace and never let go.

But they were, at their core, two ladies and  _ not _ two  _ inconsiderate teenagers _ blocking a public space, and she needed to get inside and take a bath before Sis got home to interrogate her, and Haru probably needed to get home and do important company things, so they stepped back to take a breath before their faces could blush too badly.

"I'll, um, text you later so we can hash out those aikido plans." 

"Oh yes, I am looking forward to that! I'll be certain to keep my phone close by!"

"Be safe getting home, Haru."

"Have a pleasant night, Mako-chan~" And with that last nod farewell, Haru turned to leave. 

She stayed just for long enough to ensure she made it to the limo and their driver left safely, and then she moved to pull on the handle.

As she made her way past the concierge and towards the elevator, she couldn't seem to wipe the hint of a smile off of her lips. It refused to leave until the comfortable warmth in her chest did, and that didn't seem intent on dissipating any time soon.

Perhaps… this hadn't been the  _ worst _ date.

It definitely wasn't one she would be telling Sis about though.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!!! Feel free to leave a kudos or comment (even anon), I love hearing from you all and it makes my day! I hope you all are staying safe during quarantine! ❤
> 
> I've been trying my best to finish a bunch of fics to keep you all entertained in these times! Look forward to the other chapters for D/R fics and maybe a few surprise fandoms c;


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